Looking for Genuine Permanent Self-Esteem?

I thought I could do it on my own. I’m intelligent and disciplined, so I believed reading and implementing what I read was enough for me to make those changes I needed in my life.

Going it alone was hard and there was little or no progress for years. My inner critic and I were mortal enemies. 

There was nobody in my circle who cared that I knew I had a gift to share with the world. I could feel something bubbling up inside me and I struggled to give it life because that wasn’t me.

Who was I to be different? My family had regular jobs, we were 8 to 4ers, we played it safe. What I felt growing inside me was the opposite of safe and it felt huge.

So I struggled. I tried to fit in, I tried to be normal. And I struggled. It was only when I accepted and owned ME, then my life was transformed. 

Photo by Susan Wilkinson on Unsplash

When I look at my journey to complete Self-Acceptance, I realised that healthy Self-Esteem was a consequence of discovering my Self-Worth in my uniqueness. If your Self-Worth is not solid and steady, your Self-Esteem fluctuates moment by moment as it is influenced by the people and circumstances present at that time.

I spent most of my life feeling worthless. 

Making decisions from this space meant I chose the wrong partners. 

I needed alcohol and drugs to get through every day.  

I was a people pleaser, which meant I agreed to things I did not want or agreed with and needed alcohol and the drugs to deal with those choices.

 I made terrible financial decisions because I sought validation in things. 

I sought roles I was totally unsuited for and when I failed, I felt even worse. 

I had to hit rock bottom before I took control and sought the assistance I needed to turn my life around.

Acknowledging, then reframing or replacing limiting beliefs was the path to Self-Acceptance. This gave me the courage to make changes. 

Working with a Coach meant I had someone who saw in my potential, which I suspected but didn’t quite yet accept.

I began to make changes and my confidence grew. 

I exited all unhelpful relationships.

I felt scared but courageous.

I stopped using alcohol and weed as coping mechanisms.

I started to meditate every day, twice a day and I felt more courageous and confident. 

I adopted a regular Self-Care routine.

I began to feel Worthy.

The more I took action the more confident I became. I got in touch with my true nature and my Self-Worth grew.

It was only when I truly began to value myself, I discovered genuine Self-Esteem. 

This came from a deep acceptance of the truth of who I really am and had nothing to do with any external validation. 

Accepting my gift, my confidence. 

From this space I could accept this vision of who I could become and the confidence to go after my dream of becoming a Coach.

My gift is that I can see your gift…

I can see what’s keeping you stuck….

Together we can uncover your genius.

And it will not take us 20 years.

Love

Tsahai 


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